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PREGNANCY AFTER LOSS Q&A | ALL ABOUT BABY #4

I don’t know if the light is chasing and play. It’S a shame to my hand, side shake it all the time when Joe, but this time this time, hey guys, welcome back to the man family. So today’s article is going to be a Q & A all about baby, all about my pregnancy, because I am pregnant with baby number four, so I do have three girls Leila. Who is six Aurora? Who is two and Everly is my angel baby.

She would have been eight months and now I am currently pregnant with my rainbow baby. So the first question: that’s probably the most asked question is when is my due date, so this baby is due October 30th, which is so exciting because that’s the day before Halloween and if you guys know me Halloween – is my favorite holiday hands-down. I love everything about it: the weather, the scary movies, the tricks, the treats trick-or-treating um, haunted mazes, literally everything, I’m obsessed with Halloween.

It is my favorite, so we’ll see when this baby’s due I’ve never gone over my due date. How many weeks are you so today, as I’m filming this it’s April 21st and I am pulling out my baby out because I’m 12 weeks and 12 weeks and four days, how did you know you were ready to try again so this one is kind of a Complicated answer after Everly passed away. I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted to be a mom again.

I just couldn’t envision being pregnant again. I couldn’t see myself going through that pain. Possibly again I just I couldn’t see myself being a mom again honestly, but after a while when I started working through my grief, I started you know talking to my husband. I was more open with my feelings because it takes a lot for me to be open with my feelings, which I know it’s kind of hard for you guys to understand, because I’m very open on YouTube.

But sometimes I have a hard time communicating my feelings. So, as time went on me, my husband started talking more and more, and I was really able to just you know open up to him. As time went on, I noticed go past the baby. I’Ll didn’t necessarily make me sad anymore. Talking about Everly brought me joy. Instead of just sadness, I started to envision the possibility of another baby being in our house.

I started imagining what it would be like being pregnant again and just thoughts like that. Didn’T necessarily make me sad anymore. It kind of made me excited for the future feeling like I was ready again. I had to feel it in my heart. I know that sounds kind of weird, but it’s true. It just wasn’t a quick decision. It wasn’t like. I woke up one day and I was like alright: I’m ready to have a baby.

Let’S just go ahead and do it like me. My husband talked about it for a while and for a while there we weren’t on the same page, like I had some days where I would tell him I’m ready for another baby, even though I knew I wasn’t it’s just my arms felt really empty and I Knew I said I wanted a baby for not necessarily the right reasons, and there were times where my husband would say: okay, I’m ready for a baby.

Let’S go in and try like right now, even though I knew he wasn’t ready either. We were just saying that, because we were so hurt and our arms were longing to hold our daughter Everly again, so we had to really you know, move past those feelings and work through them and we had to wait until we were ready to try for a Baby for the right reasons: when did you take a pregnancy test before or after miss period, so I actually have all of that information saved in my phone.

I’Ve been documenting, like my whole, first trimester, because I think I want to film a entire first trimester like article for you guys, because I get a lot of questions on how like I’ve been feeling. And I’m almost out of my first trimester already because in a couple of days already be 13 weeks, so I believe I’m technically in my second trimester 14 weeks, so I’m super close. So I think I want to film that article for you guys, so I have like everything saved in my phone, so I tested positive, very 18th, which was five days before my expected period.

How are your appointments with the virus going around so for my appointment? You have to wear a face mask, they won’t even like let you in the building without a mask, because they have like a little booth set up where you know they monitor everybody coming into the building. They make sure you’re, not sneezing and coughing. All of that stuff – and then another thing too is Benny. Unfortunately can’t go into my appointments with me, which makes me so sad because he missed a lot of appointments with Everly because he’s in the military and we were in the process of pcsing.

So we were in the process of moving from Hawaii to California. So if you kept up with my articles during that time, you know it was a crazy time because I had to fly out without him and he had to stay so you’ve separated for months. So he missed a lot of appointments with Everly, so with this baby he’s also missing out on ultrasound appointments, which makes me so sad. I wish he was able to go into the appointments with me, because pregnancy after loss is really hard.

So a lot of my appointments are nerve-racking. I have anxiety going to the doctors. I really wish I had that support and he was able to go in the room with me. So only patients are allowed in. Another thing, too, is once I get to my doctor’s office. I don’t have to sign in. I don’t have to touch anything. They literally put me in a room right away, so I’m not in any waiting room. They also are not booking multiple patients at once.

So, every single time I’ve gone into one of my OB appointments. I’Ve never come across another patient. Are you going to do a gender reveal? Yes, I am. I am not too sure how I’m going to do it originally, since this is our mango baby and we weren’t around family with Everly, so we didn’t get to do like a big gender reveal. The plan was to have a big party at our house. Have all of our friends and family over and do like a big gender reveal, but everything going on with the virus.

We obviously can’t have people over at our house right now, so I think we’re going to kind of just do what we did with Everly. I’M going to order some cannons like confetti cannons or smoke, cannons, something like that and then we’re going to just literally go in the backyard and pop them off and then I’ll film it for you guys upload that, where are you afraid to try it in 100 % I was terrified to try again, but I knew in my heart.

I was ready to take that step and I knew I wanted a baby, but yes, 100 %. I was terrified. Are you considered high-risk? Yes, I am. My pregnancy got flagged immediately as high-risk as soon as they learned the disorders that I really had so I am being monitored closely, but I’m not going in for more appointments than any other normal pregnancy would just because everything that’s going on with the virus.

They don’t really want patients to be coming in like every single week, just to you know be on the safe side. My doctor also has been ordering a lot of testing just to make sure everything is okay with this baby, so you guys know I did get my non-invasive prenatal tests done. I also did get my glucose has done very early. I think I was only like ten weeks. She just wants to make sure that me and the baby are okay, so I’ve been having a lot of testing done earlier than I normally would, and then my doctor also ordered us to go, see the genetics counselor just to go over everything with us.

Also I like I said I got the non-invasive prenatal test done and then I’m also going in tomorrow, actually for more testing just to make sure the baby is okay and then me and Benny are also getting tested to see. If we are carriers for the gene. For holoprosencephaly, are you considering having a CVS procedure at this time, 100 %? No, unless I need to, I never want to go through that again. I do have a article up on my blog of the CVS procedure.

If you guys want I’ll leave it get linked down below, but that was so terrifying and uncomfortable. That was probably the scariest thing. I’Ve ever done. So if this baby’s ultrasound looks abnormal and they see something again, then possibly I would consider getting a CVS procedure done again. But if all of my like non-invasive prenatal testing comes back normal and all my old sounds look good, then I would never willingly get a CBS procedure because it’s so scary and I just for the girls excited so excited.

I think a lot of people took Leila’s reaction, the wrong way. A lot of you guys thought she was very like anti baby and she wasn’t happy about this baby. That was 100 %, not the case before I actually found out. I was pregnant, both Aurora and Leila, both of them we’re asking us for a baby. I don’t even know where Aurora learned this from I don’t know if Laila was telling her to ask us for her baby, but they both kept asking for a baby brother.

So when they found out, I was pregnant again. They were so happy. So when you guys saw the article of us telling Leila, I definitely thought she was going to be more excited, but I 100 % understand where she was coming from in that article, because I felt the same when I found out I was pregnant. Obviously I knew there was a possibility. I was pregnant because I was trying, but once it becomes real, all the fears just set in what symptoms did you have before testing? So a lot of you guys were actually shocked because I did share this answer on Instagram.

Like I said, I tested positive five days before my expected period and they actually did have symptoms before testing and a lot of you guys were shocked that I was already having symptoms that early. But I was like that with Leila. I tested positive with Leila six days before my expected period and I was having a lot of symptoms with her my symptoms before testing was, I was dizzy so much especially if I stood up too fast.

I had to like just stand there and close my eyes and take a minute because I thought I was going to pass out. I was so dizzy for like a week straight, and I didn’t know why, like I thought for sure my iron was low and I thought I was anemic, because I was that way when I was pregnant with Arora. I was so dizzy to the point where I had to sit down when I was getting ready in the mornings because it was so bad.

I also was really nauseous like one day randomly um. Usually I think it’s because I don’t eat the best. To be honest, usually I’m even when I’m not pregnant, I’m a little bit nauseous before I go to bed, but this nausea was different. It was like when I woke up all the way till I went to bed and it just would not go away even when I was eating, so that was another symptom I had another one was I had headaches on and off and they would not go away.

I tried taking tylenol, I tried drinking water. I tried eating. I tried taking naps, nothing helped my headache, so that was another symptom that I had and then the last of them that I had before testing positive was for about three days. I was cramping on and off. Are your symptoms different than your previous pregnancies? 100 %? Yes, which kind of makes me think I am having a boy just because this pregnancy has been so different.

I don’t want to go into too much detail because, like I said I do want to film a first trimester, like recap, of how I’ve been feeling and stuff, but yes, 100 %. This pregnancy has been different, though cravings have been different. My symptoms have been different. Just everything has been different, so this pregnancy definitely has me thinking. Maybe it’s a boy, but at this point no we’ll see how do you cope with being pregnant after a loss? You kind of just have to take it one day at a time, and you have to let yourself feel those feelings, because all of my feelings are valid and I know they are normal.

I know it’s normal to be stressed. I know it’s normal to be scared. I know it’s normal to have certain things like trigger you. I know all of the feelings that I’ve been feeling as normal, so I just take things one day at a time I try not to stress, and I try not to dwell on the negative thoughts, because I know stressing isn’t good for the baby. So when I’m having a hard day, I just really lean on my husband and he gives me a break.

He kind of like takes over everything with the girls, so yeah, that’s kind of my way of coping is I just kind of give myself a break. Talk to my husband about it, I don’t really do like laundry that day. I don’t do like dishes. I just really relax and take that time for myself. What do you want to be a girl mom, or do you want a boy? So I get this question. A lot thought of being a boy, mom kind of like freaks me out a little bit because I literally never had to take care of a baby boy, because my mom has like all girls.

She does have one boy, but my brother is older than me. So I’ve never had to take care of a baby boy, so just the thought of like having a boy is so like unknown to me, but I think having a boy would be so exciting, but also having another girl would be exciting too. I think overall, all I really want is a healthy baby, so yeah it could go either way and I would be happy either way. You think you’d want any more kids, or would this be your last baby um me and my husband are kind of leaning towards this.

Is our last baby, at least for a while, but I also don’t want to go past 30 and, having you know, a newborn. So I don’t know it’s kind of hard to say because we are still young, but at the moment we are leaning more towards this is our last baby. You and Benny said y’all were trying for two months. Did you guys do anything specific to conceive fest? No, I wasn’t like testing my ovulation or anything.

I was keeping track of my periods just because my periods have been really irregular. I did breast feed my children and I breastfed both Layla and Aurora for an entire year each and for that whole year. I didn’t get my period and then, when I was still breastfeeding Aurora I didn’t get my period back and then I ended up getting pregnant with Everly and then obviously I didn’t have my period the entire time I was pregnant with Everly.

So I finally got my period after Everly and, as you guys can imagine, after not having a period for like over two years, my periods were insane and they were so all over the place. So I was keeping track of my periods, but I wasn’t tracking like ovulation or anything I wasn’t taking any ovulation test strips yeah, we weren’t doing anything specific and also I do want to say. I know a lot of you guys that read me have been trying for years and my heart is with you: I’m sending you guys, love sending you guys all the baby dust and prayers next question says I just hit my 19th week mark and opted to not Do genetic screening I figured my baby will come the way God intended him to.

What’S your take on it now, after carrying out your last pregnancy, knowing her condition, so you guys know I actually already did going for some genetic testing and then I’m going in for more genetic testing for this baby. So I personally would want to know as soon as possible if something is wrong with this baby. That way we can prepare and we can take the necessary steps to possibly bring home this baby.

So I personally would want to know as soon as possible. I liked knowing everything about Everly as early as we found out, I did find out everything at the ten-week mark with her, so I liked knowing early, because I was able to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of not bringing air home. I was mentally able to prepare myself for possibly bringing home a baby with medical conditions, so I liked knowing that way.

I was fully prepared of what’s to come. Another thing, too, is I liked the fact that I was able to talk to my kids about everything, because I feel like we were able to go through all of the feelings over time during my pregnancy, rather than not knowing, and then I gave birth to Everly And she passed away and then my kids would be extremely confused and I feel like that would have hurt them more because we wouldn’t have had time to process things.

We wouldn’t have had time to talk about things as a family. Are you staying with the same doctors as you had with Everly? No, we are not a lot of people. Ask me why we switch doctors and it’s because my doctors with Everly are about a three-hour drive away. So that’s just not doable, especially if I were to go into labor. That is way too long of a drive, so you guys kept up with my articles during that time, when I was pregnant with Everly, I was living with my mom because we are military family.

We were in the middle of moving states, we were in the middle of moving from Hawaii to California and I needed to get the proper care and doctors for Everly. So I ended up moving down to California. First, with the girls – and I was living with my mom for a few months, while Benny was wrapping up everything in Hawaii and then we had to find like a house when he was finally in California. So it was a really crazy time for us.

So now that we are living in our own house, I don’t go to those same doctors because they’re so far away are the Kogan 19 limitations going to affect your delivery? So my delivery is still months from now towards the end of the year. My due date is October 30th, so we haven’t even talked about labor and delivery. Yet so I’m not sure why did you have such an early glucose test? Do you have a history of Gd? No, I do not my dog there’s just taking extra precautions with everything that happened with every li.

So that’s why I had my glucose test done early, just to make sure that it comes back normal just to give us peace of mind. So, that’s why I had it super early. Do you feel any guilt getting pregnant so fast after Evy um? No, I don’t and honestly I feel, like we didn’t get pregnant super fast. Everly would have been eight months going on nine months, so I don’t think we got pregnant superfast. Will you incorporate every Lee’s name into the new baby’s name? I think this question is a little odd, so does Benny.

He thinks it’s a little odd, too um, even though Everly is not physically in our arms. She is still her own person like she is still our child, so just like our other two daughters have their own separate names. Everly is going to have her own separate name too. So no, this new baby, it’s not going to have a release first name or middle knee if you find out you’re having a boy, are y’all done, having kids for good.

So this is another question that I find a little odd. We are not having more kids for the sake of trying to have a boy like we’re having more kids just for the fact that we want more kids. So, even if this is a boy, there’s still possibility that we may want more kids in the future like just because we get our boy doesn’t mean yep. We’Re done we’re we’re good. Now, will you be doing pregnancy updates and a birth bug? Yes and yes, I love looking back at all of my pregnancy articles with Everly.

I love having those on my blog. I wish I started my youtube blog sooner. That way, I could have all of Layla’s pregnancy updates on here and Aurora’s pregnancy updates, but unfortunately I didn’t start my blog sooner like I wanted to. But yes, I will try to document as much as I can with this baby, because I love having all of those memories look back on. How does it feel to be pregnant again after a really a lot of emotions? I’M happy! I’M excited, I’m scared, I’m nervous.

It’S just a lot of emotions some days, I’m more scared than excited other days, I’m more excited than scared, it just it’s a lot of emotions, but overall, I’m so thankful and blessed to be pregnant again after going through a loss like that, you start to realize That no pregnancy is guaranteed to go all the way to the end, you’re not guaranteed a baby. At the end, sorry, I don’t want to get all choked up here, but after going through a loss like that, you just realize, even though you’re pregnant again you’re not guaranteed to leave the hospital with full arms.

So some days I am scared, but, like I said, I try not to dwell on those thoughts, so I’m just taking it one day at a time and I’m just trying to celebrate this pregnancy as much as I can and I’m just blessed every single day that Passes with this little baby, alright guys well, that is it for this Q & A that is all the questions that I’m going to be answering Trey. I didn’t get to your question for some reason: you can leave it down below and I’ll get back to you guys.

Aurora is joining me for the outro. It’S her favorite part mom. You guys enjoy this article, don’t forget to give it a thumbs up. Okay, make sure you guys are subscribed, yeah, dummer, add-back, hey make sure you hit that bell. That way, you guys always get notified every single time. We upload and I’ll see you guys in my next article bye, guys: okay,

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